Did you notice......

...that there wasn't ONE picture of me on that last post??! But that's okay. My mom said we will make up for it on this post. You haven't heard from me in awhile because I have been quite busy learning new things! Let me enlighten you with what has been keeping me so busy:

Dealing with my sister:

In that top picture, she is trying to get me to look at her. "Lincoln, look at me!!" But I'd much rather look at mom because mom is so important. You know why? Because she FEEDS me my bottle. I am a boy and let me tell you, my bottles are very important to me. Afterall, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach and I know this is so true.

I've also been enjoying the weather outside, playing and watching my cousins and sister play in the sandbox. I can't WAIT till I join them!!

I have learned to roll over and turn sideways in my crib. My mom also caught me trying to get my sleepsack off. I figured if I smiled real cute, she'd forget what I was trying to do and not put the sleepsack on backwards. So far the smile has worked!

I've been introduced to a jolly jumper! Boy, this thing is fun! I learned real quick that if I push off with my feet and then lift them off the ground, I can swing back and forth. I love it!! You should try it sometime, but you need good strong legs like mine.

I can even still suck my fingers while in the jolly jumper and that I am glad for.

Another thing I've been working on is growing. See, this is me in my swing only 4 months ago:

And look at me now!!!!

In these last 4 months I have been quite an easy baby, because I know that my parents are a bit busy with Keziah. I don't mind, honestly. They do give me lots of attention, too. But I do know that once things settle down in a few years with Kez, I'll be about 2.5 and so the plan is to make up on lost time by becoming quite mischevious. My parents will probably be in shock and won't know what hit them, but I do give them glimpses into my plan. I mean, do you not see the mischevious glint in my eyes?! Can't say I didn't warn them!!!

Well, I think this is it. I've got to get going to learn some more things. Besides, I think I heard my mom say she was going to feed me soon.

Until next time, enjoy each and every day God is giving you! I sure am!!

Sincerely, Farmer Lincoln

Fill #4

Another fill behind us. We are 1/3 of a way done. I know what you are thinking....it's that large and only 1/3 of the way done?! That's not even halfway yet!

(this picture was taken before today's fill)

Some have asked whether they'd (being the doctors) will think it's full enough and won't need many more. We asked today and they are going to continue right up till August with the fills. They'd rather have too much skin than not enough to use. Besides, it's rare that there is ever too much skin.

Today definitely had its ups and downs. We start by gearing up for the hospital already a few days before we go, talking about it etc. Keziah was fine on the drive,always on the lookout for the big tower and wind turbine. The difference being today was that she fought me when I had to put the numbing cream and bandaids on. So I knew what was ahead for us once she would have to go through the procedures. The cream doesn't hurt, nor does putting the bandaid on, but she has developed a real fear of the bandaid because it pulls some hair out everytime we take it off. But once I got both on, she was fine, even excited when we arrived at the hospital because of the "hills" we get to drive down in the parking garage!

While waiting, there was another little girl and she quite liked Keziah's froggie backpack. Apparently Keziah is pretty protective over it! She was NOT impressed :o)

The actual procedures themselves went over quite rough. Holding down your 2 year old, with her kicking and screaming isn't very easy physically, but most of all emotionally. She was VERY upset. Anytime the doctor touched her, she screamed. So yeah, it was tough. It's hard too for us as the parents to try not get upset because we don't want her to see us like that, but it just seemed today that the harder I tried, the more I failed. Those tears just kept coming.

Depsite her being so upset, they still managed to get 25 cc's in each expander. Once done and she was sitting up, we all noticed that the forehead expander was leaking. The fluid was coming out of the port, out of the needle prick hole. So we had to stay there for quite awhile to see what that was all about. Thankfully the trickle slowed down after an hour or so, which shows that it was probably just some of the saline around the port (under the skin) that didn't get into the tube that takes it to the expander. If it did not stop leaking, that would mean a setback, in that the port is faulty and is not self-closing. That would mean surgery in where they would have to start over by replacing the forehead expander with a new one. We are SO thankful that by the time we got home, it pretty much stopped leaking. Phew!!!

Because of Keziah's reactions and her anxiety is getting worse with each fill, they set us up with a Child Life Coach. While waiting for the port to stop leaking, this Child Life Coach spent a lot of time with Keziah, playing with her. Her name is Shaindi (Shane Dee) and she will be with Keziah most of the time from now on to ease her anxiety about all this. This was an answer to prayers!!! The pictures will show what she all did:

If you know Keziah, you will know that she is a very easy and engaging child. She is not really shy and is quite verbal. And so, being introduced to Shaindi and playing with her was no problem at all!

Blowing bubbles!! Nevermind the size of her cheek....look at the delight written on her face! Just 10 minutes earlier she was not having fun at all, but obviously she recovered!

Playing a fish matching game together

Here Keziah is counting to 10 for Shaindi. It looked so cute as she counted her fingers!

I debated whether to add this picture or not due to what her cheek looks like, but it's a fact: that's what it looks like. Let me tell you, that big bad wolf in the 3 Little Pigs story thought he could huff and puff?! He's got nothin' if compared to her!! :o)

Shaindi then introduced a doll for Kez, and they re-enacted what all happens to Keziah; they do this to help kids prepare for what is all going on. They also get the kids to pretend they are the doctor, which makes them feel they have control over the situation.

Here Shaindi is putting cream on the doll, just like I do with Kez.

This is when we saw Keziah's fear of the bandaid. As soon as Shaindi took it out, Keziah backed up and pulled her hands to herself. She would NOT touch the bandaid and most certainly would not put it on the doll.

Helping her dolly to blow bubbles.

We had to chuckle at one point. Shaindi took out her Ipad and asked Keziah what song she would like to hear. Keziah's eyes lit up and said "Holy, holy, holy!!" You can imagine the confused look on Shaindi's face! I quickly explained what that song was but said that finding "Jesus Loves Me" would be just as well. :o)

All said and done, the 45 minutes with Shaindi was so worth it. Keziah left the hospital with her new doll in hand and was a tired, but happy camper.

And I knew one day all those little lotion bottles I've collected over the years from hotel stays would eventually come in handy! You can guess what we did all afternoon! That's right, her dolly needed lotion on her owies quite a few times :o) This was all initiated by her. And instead of using bandaids, we are now working with saran wrap, which is going over so well. We will continue doing this with her and so hopefully next week will go a little easier for her.

A Side Street...

I know this blog is called Keziah's Journey, but as we take this road, we will be going down some side streets. One of them I am sure you've noticed is named Lincoln :o) The other side street that came up briefly in the very first post is adoption. It is this side street that I'd like to take you down for a minute or so.

Today is Mother's Day. For many years, it was a day of mixed emotions for me. I was excited the week before as I prepared gifts with my students to give to their mothers. This gift usually involved the painting of feet or hands that was put with a poem (which I can still recite off by heart!). I loved doing this with my students, not only because it was a gift for their mothers, but it meant doing something fun and hopefully memorable! Smelling those stinky feet was so worth it as I got to hear the laughter of my students while painting in between their toes!

So as a teacher, it was fun. As a married woman in a usually fertile community (and I don't mean the soil :o) it was a tough day. But as the years went by, Mother's Day did become easier and I was able to join in the celebration of it, with a happy and peaceful heart. The fact that I was remembered on this day through prayers, cards, little gifts (even from my students....how thoughtful!!!!) and being so involved with our friends' children on this day (Arie and Tam, you know who you are!!) definitely helped.

And now, we are here today. Today, I am a mother. I did receive a Mother's day card (after forgetting last year, I was pretty positive my dear husband would not forget again :o). But you know what? The day is STILL filled with mixed emotions. While being so happy for us, we think of two very important women: Keziah's and Lincoln's birth mothers. While my day is filled with thankfulness for the two children we have received, their day may be trying, emotional and hard.

I know so many people question as to how birth mothers can "give up" their children, but allow me point out something: in today's day and age, when abortion seems to be the answer, we cannot help but respect these two women, who understood they were carrying life and did their utmost to be the best mothers they could be for those 9 very important and vital months. I would think aborting is giving up.

We are so thankful to God, that through Keziah's and Lincoln's birth mothers, we may experience so much through our children. And we pray to God that He will be with ALL those who find this day difficult, whether that be for birth mothers, or those who are hoping to adopt; those who know they'll never be mothers and those who have lost their mothers.

Thank you God, for allowing me to be the mother to these two precious gifts, that although they did not grow under my heart, they will grow up to know that they grew in it.

Fill #3

Off to Toronto we went again today. We first dropped Lincoln off at his friend's house. Jasper is 6 months older than Lincoln and I think he has been teaching Lincoln some tricks because now Lincoln knows how to roll over onto his back...which is great, except for when he is trying to nap but can't because he's stuck like a turtle on its shell, arms and legs flailing about!

Thankfully we were on the road early as the QEW westbound was completely closed due to a multi-car collision. Although it was westbound, we all know that it would affect the eastbound traffic as well. Sure enough, there we were, stopped on the highway for awhile. It was not a nice collision to pass as there was a lot of damage involving 3 cars and a transport truck. Thankfully the people involved were already long gone to the hospital, so we didn't see anything like that. Coming home from the hospital it was still closed and so we had to go "around". It sure keeps us thankful for the traveling mercies we have received so far!!

On our way!

Waiting for the doctor

All done and showing off her bravery beads!!

This fill up again was difficult for Keziah. She felt the needle going in the one port and then she cried out while they filled up both expanders. She is feeling the skin stretch as they fill them up. It is quite uncomfortable. They put 25 cc's in her forehead and 20 cc's in her cheek. After I took her picture with the beads, she of course wanted to see the picture. It is the first time she reacted to her cheek when she saw herself. She looked at the picture and then right away grabbed her cheek and said "but the doctor didn't take my owie off!!". When eating her timbits, she had a hard time as the cheek expander is expanding into her mouth a bit. All the way home, she sniffled and cried, telling me she doesn't want to take her owie home :o(

Once home she had some Tylenol, which helped. But as you will see, no wonder her cheek is sore!!!!

But she can't hide her beautiful smile for long!

Many of you have asked if she can still sleep with no problems. So far she hasn't had a problem sleeping at all. We went to get her this morning and we did find her like this....

..but since day one she has always put things over her head. This was on the way to the hospital this morning (and I have plenty of pictures of her like this over the past 2 years).

We know that we are in so many prayers, and we continue to ask for your prayers. We knew these trips would not be easy on her and each week it is proving to get tougher as they put more saline in, which means she'll feel the skin stretch even more. We spent a lot of time in the days leading up to today, talking about going back to the hospital, as she is expressing to me that she does not want to go to the hospital and the doctor is NOT nice :o) In the grand scheme of things, doing this till August is really not long at all. But when you are in it, it can seem long. So far though, we have much to be thankful for as everything is moving along nicely with no complications.

Siblings

I know there will be more of this in the future.....

...but I am really hoping that there will be WAAAAY more of this!

Where did she go?

Last week, I was pretty certain I had a 2.5 year old daughter. This week, however, I am not so sure. That 2.5 year old little girl suddenly jumped to looking and acting like she is 16 3. Maybe it's the hair cut she got....

...or maybe it's because she can now ride a three-wheeler (her bike with the "stairs" as she likes to call it :o) everywhere....

....or possibly it's because she is doing her hardest to learn how to skip.

But it became VERY obvious to me that she is growing up when she told me to "get out of the bathroom, mom, I need my 'piracy'".

Yes, she is definitely growing up and we feel so blessed to watch her through every stage and development!

Fill #2

Today, this face changed again.....and not just with a wipe of the cloth to get the chocolate off :o)

Early in the morning, we headed out again to Toronto, this time with Opa! How exciting! But getting up early can be tiring!

Our beautiful girl!

While waiting for the doctor, these stickers given to her sure came in handy!

This time around, it was a little tough for Kez. She cried a bit, but in the end was still ever so brave. 15 cc's were put into both her forehead and cheek.

Of course, we had to enjoy our timbits! Although she ate 5, they are not all in her cheek here :o). Actually, all there is, is one bite in her mouth! Sometimes when I see her (like this picture), I laugh at how cute and funny she looks. Other times, I gulp to hold back the tears, trying not to get overwhelmed by the fact that her forehead and cheek look so big already and we have all of May, June and July to go yet!

Good times with Opa!

Looks like Kez wasn't the only one tired! We'll give him a break, as he IS retired (or so he says) AND he just turned 60 on Monday :o)

Back home and still smiling!

And this little gaffer?

I dropped him off the night before where he was well taken care of and showered with love by her.....

.....and him....

...and by him (as well as the rest of the Vandeburgt crew).

Keziah would like to say a BIG thank you to all those who have sent her cards, pictures, stickers and little activities to keep her busy! She has received so many cards that she thinks everytime we go to the Post Office, there will be mail for her!!

We also would like to thank everyone for all their prayers, as well as the encouraging comments received via email, facebook, face to face and here. I have heard from some that they could not leave a comment here for some reason. I disabled the 'word verification' under 'comments' so now it shouldn't be a problem. Getting spam might be but I disabled it last week and so far that hasn't been a problem either (yet).