Why?

Well, today is two more weeks before the big day. Nerves are really setting in for us. As the days get closer, I look at our daughter and sometimes doubt what we are about to do. Is it really worth it? She is so beautiful as she is. Can't we just leave it? WHY are we going ahead with it? We are not the only ones with these questions. These questions are posed to us by those close to us and who know Keziah very well. We are asked "Why remove it? We are so used to it. She is so beautiful just the way she is."




The key to these questions are the people that are asking them. They are being asked by people who know her very well; who see her on a regular basis. And we are thankful that people have accepted her for who she is; for seeing beyond the birthmark, although, I know it doesn't take long to get passed the birthmark because she has such a sparkling and happy personality.

However, as much as we are used to seeing Kez like this, many, many people are not. People that she meets in the store, malls, library, the park, you name it, she is around people who have never seen a birthmark like this. And so they stare. They point. They frown. They whisper or talk loudly "my goodness, did you see that poor girl's face?" or "wow, that is a big bruise on her face." The worst was when a group of people ran away because in their culture she is seen as cursed/bewitched. I am not lying. That really happened.

I understand most of these reactions (most, not all), as her birthmark is rare, but it can still be hard to see this happening to our little girl. And it is not something we want for her when she grows up.



And yet, we still struggle at times, whether we are doing what is best for her or not. We struggle with the thought that God made her this way, so should we not leave it? We struggle with not knowing what she will look like after it is all done; will it be so scarred up? Will it be distorted? I mean, we are talking about her FACE here, not her torso, which can be hidden by clothing. It is her face, the first thing you see when you meet someone. And from day one, she has had the most beautiful, precious face. Are we being vain by removing it? Are we feeding into the "perfection" trap, where you need to look perfect in order to fit in society? Should we wait until she is old enough and let her decide herself whether she wants it removed? Will she understand later in life why we did it or will she question why we "changed" her face?

So as the day gets closer, these are the questions that are running through our heads. Thankfully the question of how we will handle all this is answered: our heavenly Father is with us every step of the way. He has been and will always be. What comfort this is.

And so we move forward, knowing that although God created her with this, He also created technology that we may use. We know that, by removing her birthmark, she will not be ostracized; that the risk of getting melanoma on that spot is lowered and that she will still be beautiful, outwardly, but more importantly, inwardly. In the meantime, we will just take one day at a time, enjoying her as she is, watching her love her little brother with such sisterly affection.