It's been a few months, hasn't it? I hope this finds you well! And I also hope you don't live anywhere near me - for that means you are living in the frigid temperatures like I am. -25 degrees Celsius is awfully cold.
Seeing as it's been a few months since I've updated, I thought now would be a good time. Keziah is doing well, happy and loving all the snow.
But it's not only an update I want to give you, I also want to ask you a question:
See that picture above? Would 'zombie' ever enter your mind by looking at her?!
Yes, there's a story to my question. The other day, I brought Keziah into the walk-in clinic due to a very tight chest, thanks to a lingering cough for over a month. The doctor walked in, took one look at Keziah and said,
"What do we have here, a zombie visiting us?"
I was somewhat taken aback. Well, actually, I was kind of stunned - so stunned that I didn't even reply back! You know why?! Because I wasn't sure what he was referring to....in fact, it took me all day to admit to the reality that he really was referring to her birthmark.
All day, every time I thought about his comment, I shooed it away thinking that there was no way his mention of her looking like a zombie was because of her birthmark. I convinced myself all day that he called every patient a zombie, and well, that was just his way of saying hi to someone.
It wasn't until I spoke of what happened to Nathan later that night when I faced the reality that he really did say that because of her birthmark. I never said anything earlier to him because I just couldn't and wasn't ready to connect the two: birthmark and zombie. But by saying it aloud, I was faced with the question: why else would he have said it?
Really?! Really???!!
As I laid in bed that night, with tears in my eyes, I was at first angry with myself for not putting that doctor in his place. But then, I was thankful I didn't. Why? Because then Keziah would have noticed that something was up, that he was saying something about her birthmark. You see, she has no idea what a zombie is, and so she never connected the two. She just giggled at what he said. If I had made a big deal and told him off, she would have clued in very quickly that he said something about her birthmark.
So while I am glad she never clued in, that still doesn't stop me from crying about it all. Even though she had no idea, my mama heart is very angry......angry that he said it and angry that I never put him straight.
It also makes my heart sad for our beautiful girl. She is 5.5 years of age......there is going to come a time when she will start to notice how many people point and stare at her. So far she is unaware, but I have a feeling not for long. And that makes my heart sad, knowing that she is coming closer to an age where reality sets in and she starts to notice how much negative attention she gets because of her freckle.
We continue to pray for wisdom. She is a very happy, confident girl, full of life and very caring. We pray that we are given what we may need in the days, months and years ahead, so that she may always know she is beautiful, inside and out. She still loves her freckle, but is looking forward to when people will stop asking her about her shiner.
Speaking of that.....her next surgery (and last?!) is booked. It is to take place on Tuesday, April 7th. That leaves us with just under two months before we have to think of it. And she already knows how she'll spend the next 8 weeks.......with her best friend, her brother. I will update the blog again once April 7th gets closer, to go over what Dr. Zuker hopes to achieve. Until then, take care and thanks for reading!
