Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Still Waiting.....

Seeing as September is around the corner, many people have started to ask us again when her next surgery will be. The answer is: we still don't know. In May, when we saw Dr. Zuker last, he said we would get a call this summer for a surgery date in September and October. Summer is almost over (sniff, sniff!) and we have yet to receive that call.

In May, June and half of July, we hardly thought of the call, knowing it'll probably come late July or early August. And so the waiting wasn't too hard. Besides, we were busy enjoying the summer and all the activities that come with it (most of it being camping, as some of you may know if you read my other blog).

It wasn't until the third week of July that we started to think a bit more about it. It didn't help that we knew of another patient of his, who saw him on the same day in May as Keziah, received a call for surgery on the first day of October. We assumed by that, that our call was next. Yeah, that was a month ago now and still no call.

I emailed Dr. Zuker at the beginning of August and thankfully he responded last week. His response came the same the day that I had the phone in my hand to call his office. I just didn't dare though because I didn't want to be a nuisance. It's not like he isn't busy!! Well, later that day, I received an email from him. He told me he has talked to a few dermatologists and none of them, and neither has he, ever heard of this "hair loss" from the nevus. In his email he stated that he is still reading up on it and is still seeking to talk to some other experts. So I guess until he has researched it as best as he can, we won't be heading to the Operating Room any time soon. I guess he doesn't believe me that we have seen via pictures, as well as met someone who has experienced hair loss? Either way, I am just glad he is the type of surgeon that likes to look into things before going ahead with something he is not familiar with.

Knowing that she hasn't been forgotten and that he is still researching has made waiting easier again. But today I found myself in tears. Jealous tears. Tears that spring up out of envy for those who have started a similar journey before hers and are done; tears of impatience as we just want this journey to start again so that we are closer to the end. However, these tears are not healthy ones and are not beneficial to anyone. Because really, in the whole scheme of things, her journey is really not that long and definitely, most importantly, not life-threatening. I am just being impatient and want to be done!

So while we still yet wait, please pray for us, that we are more patient as we wait. We know everything is in God's timing, but it is just so hard to live that out. Having gone through infertility and adoption, you would think I'd be used to that....to trust and be rest assured that all things will come about when and if He wills. But once again, I find I am struggling with this. I just have to keep praying, because prayer always puts things back into the proper perspective.

It's really funny though, because on one hand I bemoan the fact that it is taking too long to get this show back on the road, and on the other hand I can't believe how fast time goes!! That's what happens when someone very special just celebrated her 4th birthday!

How did she go from this:

to this?!?! Seriously, where has the time gone?

That's right. Time does not go any slower or faster. It just seems like it does, depending on what our wants and our (what we think) needs are.

I will leave off with these verses that I am memorizing:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4: 6)


Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (Matthew 6:27). 

Can't get more blunt than that, eh? Ah, God's Word and Truth. So reliable every.single.time.


  1. Thanks a lot for sharing, Michelle. Yes, waiting is always hard, whether you are 4 or 40 or 60 [I was going to put 80 but since I'm not that old yet I thought that might be a bit presumptuous ;) ]. I, too, have been in situations where I was anxious, impatient, and stressing. Always it seems the Lord uses those times to humble me and remind me that He truly is firmly and lovingly in control - something my brain knows but my heart sometimes has a hard time accepting. Don't beat yourself up but just keep going to Him again and again, asking for strength and patience and turn to His Word to be reminded of His love and care. <<>> We will keep you in our prayers.

  2. Thanks for sharing that, Michelle. Shall I tell you something? Phillippians 4:6 was the text the minister gave to me upon my profession of faith. (Anxiety was a problem for me even though I couldn't speak about it). Matt 6; 27 was the one we chose for our wedding because it was the area we had to learn the hard way to entrust to God. And he did teach us! The hard way! And he will give you what you need as well! He promised! And you can believe it! Love you all. Aunt C