5 Year Old Insights

We are two months post op now, with healing continuing to take place around Keziah's eye. Some days it is very red and angry looking, and other days the redness is gone. Stitches are still working their way out, which often means small infections here and there along the incision line, but clear up after a few days. Sometimes they clear up on their own, other times we need to rid of the pus. We continue to massage the scars twice a day, something we will do for another year or so.

Throughout this journey, we have always been ever curious to know what she has thought about the whole process of removing her freckle. We've always been somewhat apprehensive in our decision to remove as she has always expressed that she loves her freckle. From start to finish, Keziah was most concerned that Dr. Zuker would take all her freckle away.

One of the gifts that we gave Dr. Zuker was this, a Before and After picture of Keziah:

Before we gave it to him, I had shown it to Keziah and asked her which of the 3 pictures was her favourite. She pointed to the bottom one. I asked her why, and she says:

 

"Because I like my smile there. And I have my whole freckle."

 

Gulp.

• Did we, her parents, make a mistake by choosing to remove?!
• Will she grow up and tell us we never should have removed it?
• Will she be angry with us for making the decision for her, a decision to do something to her body/face?
• Should we have done what others chose to do, and that is wait until she is older so that she could make the decision herself as to whether to remove or not?
• Will she always wish she still had her whole freckle?

Making the decision to remove her freckle was never an easy one. It was difficult, confusing, and worrisome, with lots of sleepless nights, tears and very tight stomachs.

 

So now that we have done it, that has left us very curious to know what Keziah thinks of it all. Of course, she won't comprehend yet what all went into making such a big decision like this one, but still.....what does she think about having most of her freckle removed?

 

Well, the other day I received an email from someone who had found this blog. He was in search of what to do, as his daughter was born with a facial birthmark as well. He sent some pictures - pictures of his beauty, a little one with a large birthmark. He was looking for advice as to what to do and who to go to.

 

I decided to show Keziah the pictures of the little baby. I did not say anything about the freckle. I wanted to see what her reaction would be. She noticed right away that the baby had a freckle "just like me, mom!", and then went right to oooohhhhing, and ahhhhhing of how cute this little one was.

 

I then told her that the baby's parents are wondering what to do: should they remove the freckle or not. This was what Keziah thought:

 

"They can take the freckle off, but not now. Not when she is just a baby. She is too little. They should wait till she is older, so that she can understand what is going on."

 

I asked her if they should wait till she is the same age that she was when we started the removal, and she said,

 

"Yes. I liked it that I was older and I knew what was happening. I liked it that you could tell me what was happening. I could understand better because I was older."

 

I then asked if they should just leave the freckle alone, let the baby keep her freckle forever.

 

"No. Or else everyone will stare all the time, and say 'what is wrong with your face?' I don't think they should take all of it off either. They should just leave some like mine. Or else she won't have an eyebrow and people will ask, 'Hey, why don't you have an eyebrow there?'. But they should wait until she is older, not now when she is a baby. She won't understand now. I am glad I was older so I could understand."

 

This conversation left us both (my husband and I) in tears. To hear her speak so openly and with such care for this little one was really neat. Clearly, her main concern was that the baby needed to be old enough to understand. She also spoke with such confidence, in a tone of "I know all about this." 

 

We are so proud of this girl. Not because she has eased our concerns somewhat about whether she would grow up angry with us for making the decision to remove. But proud of her in her viewpoints, her concern of others, how she expresses and handles herself, not only through the process of removal, but today, dealing with thoughts that most kids don't need to think about.

 

I know, she is still young yet, so really, how can she give advice?! In reality, while her reasoning for waiting till the baby is older is a good one, it is actually easier to remove (if that's the decision for your family) the younger they are. They don't remember the process and their skin heals so much quicker than if older. But it was just really neat to hear her take on it all. (Just a side note, there are grown ups who have left the facial birthmark alone, and are also very confident in who they are, which is so good!!)

 

We continue to praise God for this gem of a girl. We also continue to thank Him for blessing her through the whole process, leaving her with a positive and mature outlook in life. He has also blessed this girl with a heart of compassion for others. What a gift she is.