6 Month Update

It has now been six months since the removal of Keziah's freckle. Things continue to heal very well. Her skin graft, as you can see below, can still be quite pink at times, but more often than not it is the same colour as the rest of her facial skin.

Keziah continues to remain happy and positive about her whole experience. It rarely comes up and if it does, statements are said without fear.

You can see below that there is hardly a scar where her skin graft starts. You can also see that in this picture it is so close in colour to the rest of her face.

My innocent, shy, and timid darling.......

Or not. :o)

When Keziah had her full birthmark, I knew what people were staring at. Now, I forget and so when I see people staring at her, I find myself looking at her for something funny on her face, like ketchup or chocolate that hasn't been washed off yet. And if they aren't staring, they are asking. We continue to be baraged with questions by people who are wondering how she got such a black eye. For the most part we just quickly explain, in a matter of fact way, that it's just a birthmark. When it's the 8th time that day, the possibility of being impatient arises. But that 8th person doesn't know how many times we've been already asked so we do still need to be patient. I can see around the bottom of her eye that it looks like a bruise, but the eyebrow? Oh well. It is what it is. 4 more months and we'll be back at Sick Kids to deal with that.

In the meantime, we will keep enjoying this beautiful smile of hers with her ever-sparkly personality!

We know the next 4 months will go fast and we'll be back at the hospital. Look at how fast the last 6 months went. Actually, look at how fast the last year went! Today is not only 6 months ago that she had her surgery, today is my baby's first birthday. But more about him on my other blog (here)

Dermatologist Appointment

Keziah had her yearly dermatologist appointment today back at Toronto Sick Kids. She goes in every year as they like to keep an eye on her freckle, taking pictures and noting any changes (darkening, thickening, bumps etc.). I didn't tell her we were going until the day of. Last time, when we went back in September, I told her a few days ahead, which resulted in some anxious moments at night (bed wetting). This time, because her appointment was later in the morning (11 o'clock), I knew I would have time to tell her that morning.

Because her appointment was at 11 that meant no traffic jams (by no traffic jams, I mean that I didn't stop once until I hit Islington. That's pretty good!! And then it was stop and go all the way to the hospital).

She was pretty excited to go......until we ran into this thing:

These statues were everywhere in the hospital, with two on either side of the entrance doors. She would NOT go in because of them. And having learned my lesson from the witch incident (find this story at the end of a post on my other blog), I did not try to convince her they wouldn't move :o) I just picked her up and carried her into the hospital.

The waiting wasn't too long, giving her a little time to colour and to play.

Once in, the dermatologist had a look at her freckle; of what's left of it anyway. They were very impressed with the work that was done on her face. They had last year's picture from our appointment and couldn't believe the changes!! Using a special light and magnifying glass, they inspected what was left and other than it being quite dry, which is common for having a congenital meloncytic nevus, it all looked great!!

For the scars, she gave me this to use:

Have any of you heard or used this before on any scars? She just gave us samples for now. I am just wondering if it's worth purchasing....

Because having CMN also can mean having satellites (smaller moles), we checked the rest of Keziah's body to see if any have popped up. Satellites can pop up anywhere and at any time. I know of some that have 100s to 1000s of satellites, whereas others don't have any at all. Some of these satellites can be large and others quite small.

When born, Keziah was checked over and there were a few spots, but they were really light. I have noticed over the past year or so, more spots popping up. She has quite a few on her legs now. They are quite light in colour, but I have also noticed that a few of them have that dark coarse hair coming out of them. The dermatologist did not think they were satellites, but we will need to keep an eye on them. So far there are about 6 or 7 on her right leg and almost 10 on her left leg.

(Chant with me: I will not be jealous over her gorgeous skin colour, I will not be jealous over her gorgeous skin colour, I will not be.......)

And so we go back in a year to have these all looked at again. For now, I've documented them and will keep an eye on them (and for others) until then.

Once her appointment was over, we enjoyed a bagel and timbits together. Correct me if I am wrong but I think she liked the cream cheese :o)

And then it was time to go home!! Going to the hospital continues to be a tiring affair for her!

Happy to be home!

And so am I. Going to the hosptial is draining in many ways. It takes up a good chunk of your day (gone from 9:30-2:00), dealing with traffic and whatnot. But the most draining part of it all is keeping my mother bear reactions down to a minimum. You would think that walking through a hospital, a children's hosptial no less, people would be more sensitive to the fact that you are going to see things that are "different". I actually find the hospital to be one of the worse places for her to be stared at!! What gives?? I don't get it. And it's not just "oh, she has something on her face" kind of staring. It is the "oh my! The poor girl. What in the world is on her face? Maybe if I stare longer and harder I'll figure it out" kind of staring. Yes, it is very hard to deal with and so I do not enjoy going. At all.

Education is huge! Hopefully this blog has helped in that regard. Once educated, the need is less to stare. And that goes for all things, conditions, differences, what have you. And may we all recognize the Creator of us all, the One who NEVER makes a mistake.

4 Month Post-Operation

Today marks the 4 month mark since Keziah had a good part of her freckle removed. 4 months ago already! That means she has been without her freckle longer than with those big ole expanders! Remember those??!

Unreal. I cannot believe that she looked like that at one point. Just the other day I was flipping through this blog and came across the blog where I had each "fill" pictured (find it here: Observations and Reflections ) It left me breathless and in tears. But it also left me with a sense of awe as to how much strength we were given at the time. Sure I noticed her cheek and forehead while going through it all, but not to the extent as I do now when I look at the pictures. Now I can really see what others saw back then. Wow.

But here we are, 4 months later. Her healing continues to go very well without infections. The only complication that is developing is her droop. Now it is quite noticeable compared to a month and half ago. And it will continue to droop more and more as time goes on, until we meet Dr. Zuker in May, where he will deal with it as well as the rest of the birthmark on her face (which by the way is NOT face paint!!! Do you know how often she has been asked what is painted on her face???).

Her skin graft is looking amazing!!!

Most of her scars are not too pronounced except for the ones in her hair. She has quite the wide scar where there isn't any hair growing, which leaves it quite noticeable. The big wide scar is like a backwards "C", going from the top of her head, around and down to meet the top of her skin graft.

And a top view

So doing her hair can be a bit tricky if I want to "hide" the scar. That front chunk of hair in the "C" likes to fall forward and so the only way to have it cover the scar is to pull all the hair back. Even with two simple braids on either side of her head doesn't hide it as that hair in the front loosens and shows the gap.

But really, it's not that big of a deal. All things considering, dealing with a large scar like that and a droopy eye is nothing compared to what others have to deal with. I belong to a nevus support group, where parents and nevus "owners" can gain support from one another, whether they go through removal or not. And let me tell you, what Keziah's birthmark looked/s like is nothing compared to what others have. And the same with the whole process.....we have had nothing but success, whereas others have had one complication after another (and serious ones, too!!). Lately I have been going through a bit of guilt as to how well things have gone for her. I pray my guilt doesn't take over my thankfulness.

Although her face has changed from birthmark to expander to hardly any birthmark, one thing hasn't changed, and that is her beautiful and contagious smile!!

So now what?

Seeing as we don't need to go back to the hospital until next May and if I stick to what this blog was for, that means there won't be a whole lot to update until then. So now what? As you can see from the last three months, I haven't been able to keep the blog to just about Keziah and the removal of her freckle. I have realized over the last 6 months that I enjoy writing; I enjoy documenting things and most of all, I have enjoyed sharing the pictures.

I do feel a bit at a crossroads: do I keep blogging (just for fun) or do I stop? Do I start another one and keep on documenting and sharing pictures of our family? Although I have enjoyed it a lot, what makes me hesitant about starting another blog about us (apart from Keziah's medical journey) is the worry of "self-indulgence/absorption", the worry of how my blog would come across: "Here!! Look at me/us!!! Look what we are doing and how perfectly things seem to be!!!". (I've touched upon this in a previous post here).

And yet, I've enjoyed doing this one for Keziah a lot. So, with trepidition, I will start another blog on one account: that is to remember that everything needs to be done for the glory of God. If I lose that focus, I pray that I will become aware of it (either through my own eyes or by a reminder from you) and the result will be that I will instantly quit blogging. I will quit it as soon as it takes a priority in my life. I will stop writing if I notice a theme of pride in my posts.

For now, I will continue and we'll see how long I do. You can find my new blog here. There isn't anything there yet, but I have some in draft (the Butternut Squash recipe that people have been asking for as well as our Thanksgiving weekend in pictures. Lincoln also woke up this morning with a funny looking rash on his ankle which I wouldn't mind asking about, seeing as there are many knowledgeable people out there! :o). editor's note: it is up and running now with the recipe for the soup

The reason for separating the two blogs is to keep this one as is should be: Keziah's journey. If people are looking and researching about what to do because their child has the same birthmark as Kez, I want it to be easily accessible for them.

And so, without further adieu, I'd like to take this time to thank EVERYONE who has been there in any way, shape or form the last 6 months. Your support has been amazing and was felt not only by us, but also by Keziah.

All the cards and pictures she received while going through the surgeries.

Above all, we praise our Heavenly Father. He is the one who placed this darling daughter into our lives. He is the one who knew all along that she would be born with this birthmark and what she would need to go through to remove it.  We know that through the trials He gives to us, He is refining us, to learn to place all our trust in Him, to lay all our anxieties at His feet. Such a difficult thing to do, to leave things with Him as we like to have a sense of control, but once done, it is so relieving knowing that an almighty God has everything planned out and He is there to carry you through the journey He has placed you on. Trust and obey. Two simple yet hard to do words. We thank Him for giving us His Spirit to do exactly that, trust and obey; and pray that He will continue to do so.

And I will update if necessary as time passes until we get to May, in which I will once again update regularly as we move on to the next phase of removal.

Did you know.......

....this child could look at books all day long?

....you can change the rules for croquet (and that I don't know how to spell 'croquet')? Yup! You can!! If you can't hit the ball with the stick through the wire

then just kick it through!!

...that somebody has found a way into my cupboards

and "re-cleans" everything in them and then dumps it on the floor?

....that a cutting board isn't just for cutting? Nope!! Jumping on it is MUCH more fun!

....this is the best way to eat a chocolate sandwich? You should try it sometime!

...he is 9 months old now??

...that tuft of hair that is sticking straight up on the top is hair that was cut for surgery and is now growing back?

..and that it is VERY hard to make that new hair lie flat?

....I bought this walking toy at a garage sale to give to Lincoln for Christmas, thinking he would need it then, not NOW?!

....that I would fall (and so would you) if I tried to do this with my fingers and toes, all under the door at once?

....that he thinks his bed is a trampoline?

...that he is stubborn and would NOT open his mouth up for my dad (this is his food, people!! Remember those legs of his? That's right. Stubborn. I didn't know that was a nurtured thing rather than a nature thing.....grin :o)

...this is what he does when my dad gives me the spoon?

....that to entertain one child, just put the other child in the corner?

....in case you burn something to the pan (what, me burn food??!) you can just add soap and water and boil it?

..and that it works even better with the lid off (duh)?

Ta-da!! (and did you know I got that tip off of Facebook?? See, Facebook is not ALL bad :o)

....that I don't burn everything but love to make our favourite Autumn soup, Butternut Squash soup?

...this is what it looks like driving up our driveway in Autumn?

...that although they make a picture look nice and serene, we are eager to say "good riddance" to these birds in a week or two?

...that although all seasons are beautiful, I do believe that God shows His glory most in Autumn?

And lastly, did you know that this Thanksgiving weekend is the first "cold" one in a few years? One would know that if one camps every Thanksgiving weekend. Off to pack up all our woolies!!!

May we all have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, remembering and reflecting the many gifts we have received, not because we deserve them (which we so do not), but because God has given them to us out of His good pleasure.