Observations and Reflections

Remember this darling face?


Would you believe that she has the expanders in her face already??! And would you believe that after Fill #1 I wrote in that post that her face is changing so much?! Now when I look back to those earlier fills, I find it almost laughable as to how I was having a hard time adjusting to those changes. When I see those earlier pictures, I can't believe that I thought her face was already somewhat distorted. Compared to today, those fill ups were nothing! I know, it's all perspective and at the time, the expanders looked "big" already. But we sure are looking forward to this Friday, having those expanders taken out!

Let's recap for a minute. I'll post a picture from each fill so you can see the progression. I wonder if you scroll down really fast you can see the cheek and forehead "grow", just like those creative artists in school who would draw a stick figure at the top of the first page in a textbook and keep drawing one on every page until the end, and if you flip the pages fast enough, it would look like the stick figure was moving! You'll have to try and let me know :o)

Fill 1:

Fill 2:

Fill 3:

Fill #4:

Fill #5:

(her cheek from behind):

Fill #6:

Fill #7:

Fill #8:

Fill #9:


Although her cheek and forehead have changed a lot, that smile and brown eyes sure haven't! She is still as spunky as ever, which surprises many people when they see her hopping and skipping around. It looks painful but overall, it really has not bothered her much at all.

Although her face is pretty unbalanced right now, we did and continue to take her out in public. There were great times and horrible times. There were times when I had to really cool the blood that was boiling in my veins as I saw children running from her at the playground. Wherever she went, they ran away, yelling "don't go near us!". Another time I had to cool my jets was in Ottawa, when a boy went right up to Keziah, pointed in her face and said "Ewwwww! What is THAT on your face??" The "ewwwww" is what made me blow smoke out of my ears. Although we are so thankful she is too young really to know that those reactions are directed at her, it sure is gut-wrenching to see her confusion on her face when all she wants to do is play with them.


And so, as in any trial you go through, we have learned a lot. We have learned that for the most part, people are filled with empathy for her. They cringe when they see her but not out of disgust, but because it looks so painful. Once they know it is not painful, they are relieved and can see beyond it. Just last week we passed a 12 year old boy and when he saw her, he right away gasped and put his hand to his mouth. He then closed his mouth and puffed out his one cheek as far as he could, touching it with his hand. It looked quite funny!! But by his body language I could tell he was full of emapthy for her.

We have also learned that it is so important to teach Keziah that not everyone looks the same and THAT IS OKAY. And I am not only talking about "abnormalities". I am talking here about race as well. Because we live in such a close-knit somewhat Dutch community, to see another race in our circles is not overly common. How important it is to expose our children to all races in a christian way, that God created them just as much as He wanted to create us.

So how can I prevent her from pointing out others? From reacting as others have reacted to her? I don't have all the answers, and with kids, you just never know what's going to be uttered from their so brutally honest lips. But we can definitely help them by exposing them to things. With the use of the internet (carefully) we can show them different disabilities. I mean, there's plenty out there seeing as we all have one or more disability.

We can also use books from the library. Take out books that deal with certain disabilities (wheelchair, hearing aid, blind etc. etc.) as well as books that have characters of different races. And don't just read the book to them. Discuss. Discuss the differences; come up with examples in your child's life (peers, family members etc); discuss how we should treat everyone as we are called to by God. Talk about how to question properly in front of someone; help them to discern when it is a good time to question or to just leave the question until you get to the car/home.

Using the Bible is a great source as well. How often does Jesus not show that the blind, lame and diseased were worthy of His time and healing?!

Again, even having done all this, knowing kids, you will still find yourself in an embarrassing predicament. All I can say is watch your reaction; how you treat the situation will speak volumes to your children. We can show them by OUR reactions when we come across people that may look a bit "different". I know it's instinct to shush up our kids when they loudly proclaim a difference on someone or question "what is that?". But that makes the situation even more awkward!

I know Keziah will see things that are "different" and she may very well point and/or say something. But I pray for wisdom that I may show to her that everyone was created by God and everyone has a purpose here on earth, no matter their ability. With Christ as our example, may we all work on our acceptance of others and stop striving for outward perfection, but for a heart filled with compassion, kindness, caring and love to ALL.