When Keziah was born, it was life altering, bringing a whole new dimension to our lives. She was not only born with this birthmark, a congenital meloncytic nevus we had never seen or heard before, we were also riding the adoption roller coaster. There were moments in those first few days that felt so surreal. The amount of emotions that were inside (and sometimes out) was extensive and manifold. When we think of those first days, tears spring quickly to my eyes as the fears, the unknowns, the love, the heart-pain, the questions, the anxiety, the worries, the trepidations, and the awe all come back forcfully, like it was just yesterday. And know that these feelings weren't only being felt by us, but by all those involved, especially Keziah's birth family.
Allow me to take you through some of those early days, as well as the days and months to follow as we adjusted not only to a new baby after 11 years of just the two of us, but also to a baby with a physical difference, an outward "flaw", as some have stated. And you guessed it, I'll use pictures to help the story along (yes, I had my camera with me all the time back then, too. Some people can't leave their homes without their cell phone. I, on the other hand, have no idea where my phone is and don't really care, but my camera??! Now that's another story :o):
I will be honest, he was smitten before I was. Don't get me wrong here. I loved her right away. But it did take me a bit to see past her birth mark. I feel ashamed now as I write this, that I struggled with it. But I told you before I didn't want my blog to be false. And so I need to tell the truth: it was hard. Very hard. I wish now it wasn't, that I could have just embraced it all without a question, doubt or fear of how I, as her mother, was going to handle all this. But it was all there.
Keziah must have sensed my fears and worries because I will never forget the moment when I was holding her and she took hold of my thumb, as if to say "Don't worry, mom. Remember your wedding text? Remember Who is in control? Everything will work out and we will do this together with Him as our Guide."
I'll leave it at that for now. At this point of the story, no one in our families know where we are, that Keziah was born, what's all going on. The only ones that know are our friends that were camping with us. But more of the story later. Time to wake up some kids so that they'll go back to bed on time tonight. If they do, then I shall continue. If not, you might have to wait a day or two......