Christmas Day - surgery

...cont'd from last post.

Thanks to friends who were willing to take Lincoln at a moment's notice, as well as another friend who filled in for Nathan on the organ for the Christmas service, also, at a moment's notice, we were able to head towards Toronto without worrying.

And the worries/anxieties and apprehensions for the day were also calmed by the way God spoke to us that morning - through His sunrise. He once again reminded us that He has all things in control, from the magnificent rising sun to our daughter.

While we were headed to the hospital on Christmas Day, there were definitely some benefits. One of them being the traffic, or lack thereof. I don't think I have ever seen the Gardiner Express Way this empty. It was fabulous!

Another benefit of having surgery on a holiday, is that typically the O.R. is empty. And so, as soon as we got there, she got "dressed" for surgery and they were able to wheel her down for surgery fairly quickly. So often I think this girl is getting too big. And then I see her in a hospital bed and she looks so tiny.

That's our brave and smiley girl! She knew what was up, yet didn't have a problem with it at all.

While she was under Dr. Zuker's care, we tried to keep busy, especially Nathan, who was trying hard not to notice it was snowing again. It wasn't that he could do anything while at the hospital in regards to the snow, but he just was really hoping his guys would be able to get a break from it all, as they had been working so hard the last week and half.

Another benefit of being the hospital on Christmas Day is a free lunch!! Stuff like that just tickles our very few Dutch genes to no end. :o)

Keziah came out of surgery just over an hour later, and was pretty perky all afternoon. A present from the hospital may have helped (no, Santa did not drop in....he was warned he would not be greeted too fondly by the little patient in Room 70 :o):

A visit from her cousins also cheered her up as well:

And as if that wasn't enough, a visit from Opa most certainly kept her happy! Especially when he reads her 6 books!!!

Oh, and her broccoli also did a good thing for her.

We were happy to see my dad as well, as he brought food that was cooked by my mom. It was delicious!!

And to top off this day, the fact that it was a holiday meant that Nathan could stay with us all night! The ward was quite empty, which left lots of extra blankets and cots. So stay he did!!

And without any more complications, the next day we were able to head home. We picked up our dear son, Lincoln, who was having a great time, and we looked forward to being home altogether. Once home, Lincoln once again, needed to be near me a lot, wanting lots of snuggles. I didn't mind. :o)

Keziah also needed lots of snuggles later that night, after we tried to clean her incisions. This did not go so well, leaving both her and I in tears. I can happily report that was the last time she fought having them cleaned. Since that night, she has allowed us to clean them without a fight.

That was our Christmas Day and Boxing Day! Despite missing out on celebrating and enjoying this holiday, we have so much to be thankful for. The list could be so extensive, but I will limit it to just a few. We praise and humbly thank our Father in heaven for:

• Dr. Zuker. I sent this man an email Christmas Eve. He called me back 5 minutes later. He came in on Christmas Day to help our daughter. He came in willingly and cheerfully (the platter of homemade baking may have helped :o) not only on Christmas Day, but also on Boxing Day
• God's providential timing. Dr. Zuker left for Florida on Friday. We knew this and were concerned that he may be gone if things went from bad to worse. Thankfully it did go from bad to worse, but before he left
• our friends far and near - who called/emailed/texted during the ups and downs of the days leading up to the surgery, as well as the days after, wondering not only how Keziah was doing, but how we were doing
• our church family who prayed for her at our church service on Christmas Day, which was at the same time Keziah was in surgery
• His Spirit which helps and reminds us to celebrate Christ all through the year, not just on one day
• Toronto Sick Kids and all the nurses that cared for Keziah, as well as those who donated gifts to the hospital, as well as volunteered their time to hand out these gifts
• that her top expander was not affected by the infection, and that another fill could be added
• the disposition of our daughter, that she just rolls with things (much better than her mommy, that's for sure!)
• His presence, which surrounded us and was felt
• that the cleaning of her incisions has gone 1000 times better than the first night

Ah, yes, much to be grateful for. Yes, having that expander taken out is a setback, but after experiencing such uncertainty in the days leading up to the removal, we are relieved to deal with it by removing it.

Keziah will still be on antibiotics for another week, to continue to fight her infection. Please pray that the antibiotics work and that her new incision heals up. 

We are not quite out of the woods, as I noticed today that her top incision has opened a wee bit again. Please pray that it may close and that her top expander also does not have to come out.

Thanks for reading and for caring!! The next post will be her updated pictures for Fill #3 (which was done during surgery).

Updates from the Last Days - Part One

Well, our internet is up and running, so that means I can give you a picture update as well as a few more details of what has all taken place the last few days. It'll be a few posts to keep it from being one very long post.

Just a quick recap - this all started last week Monday, when her and Lincoln bonked heads, which split open her top incision. While cleaning that up, that is when I noticed her bottom incision was crusted over with pus. A few days later, the top incision healed up quickly, however the bottom incision became worse as the week went on. By Friday night, it was seeping a ton of pus, which resulted in calling the hospital and making a visit Saturday morning.

On Saturday she was put on antibiotics. By Monday morning, I could see a tiny hole in the incision, which meant another trip to Sick Kids. We were seen by Dr. Bains again, who had a good look at it, but sent us home telling us to come back in if we start seeing the expander through the hole.

Sure enough, Tuesday morning, we thought we could see and feel the expander poking through the hole. We thought to leave it for the day, just to make sure. By Tuesday night (Christmas Eve), there was no question about it - it most definitely was the expander. I emailed Dr. Zuker that evening to let him know. I then called the hospital. While on hold, I get a 'call waiting' signal, and it was Dr. Zuker!!! He called as soon as he got my email! He wanted her in right away, but she just had supper. For surgery to take place, she'd have to wait 8 hours. So we made plans to come the next day to see him for surgery at 9 in the morning, Christmas Day.

As a side note, have I mentioned that my husband is in the snow clearing business?! So you can imagine how the last 12 days have been for him. We had a snowstorm two days before the "Bonking of Heads", and then an ice storm this past weekend. So not only was it stressful at the home-front, he had a business to run through all this weather we've been getting. Oh, and our car broke down during the snowstorm and we lost hydro for 26 hours during the ice storm, which is not great when you have a sump pump (some of our church members are just getting power now, 6 days after the storm).

So while we lost trees, tree limbs, our power and internet connection (which was very difficult with a business to run), we packed up our things, sent Lincoln to friends and headed to the hospital. And you know what? Despite it being Christmas Day, and we knew we would be dealing with a setback in the removal of the back scalp expander, we went in great peace and relief. This peace could only have been sent by God. And we felt His nearness all through the day. What a blessing.

To be cont'd.

Surgery Done!

Quick update for those who read this and are not "friends" with me on Facebook: Keziah did very well through surgery. It is night now, and she is sleeping nicely. We look forward to going home tomorrow. In the next days I'll post a more detailed blog (i.e. pictures :o). Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf!!

Spending Christmas in the Hospital....

....well, it is Christmas Day, and we are spending it in our "home away from home": Sick Kids. We have been here Saturday, Monday and now are here for surgery. While we were hoping the meds would get rid of the infection, it only got worse. To add to it, her bottom incision opened up further and the expander started to poke out.

So we are here, waiting for Keziah to come out of surgery. Dr. Zuker is hoping that the infection did not reach to the top expander. If it has, that one will need to come out as well. We pray that this isn't the case.

We will update later......

In the meantime, we would like to wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas!!

On Antibiotics Now

Last night, after having "talked" with a few people on the Giant Nevus Removal Support Group, calling into the hospital was the thing to do. We spoke to the resident surgeon, who really felt she should be looked at in the morning.

So off we went to Sick Kids this morning, to have her incision looked at. Boy, if only every day the traffic was like this!!!

Keziah woke up this morning happy, and her incision looked pretty good. But after seeing how much dried pus was in her blanket from overnight, we were very thankful to make the trip in.

Once there, we met up with Dr. Bains, the resident doctor. We then found out that Dr. Zuker was also coming in at any moment, so that was good to hear, too! Both doctors had a look at her incision and expander, humming and hawing about whether to take the back expander out. We just sat and listened, answering the questions that we could, praying that she would not have to have surgery.

After conversing back and forth, Dr. Zuker came to the conclusion that he really wants to try the anti-biotics first before having to remove the expander. He really did not like how much pus came out, making him think there may be an infection around the expander, but he is hoping that most of it leaked out last night. So Keziah is now on anti-biotics for the next 14 days. Dr. Zuker is hoping that by doing this, as well as leaving the expander alone, the infection will go away. But there is a chance it may not, as the expander is a foreign object in the body, which infections just love to cling to.

So with much relief, we were able to leave the hospital, with a prescription in hand. I am so thankful we went in. I always feel like such a bother to these doctors. This is not how they make me feel, it's just that I know they must be so busy. But nevertheless, she needed to be seen.

I was reassured to call if there are any changes (more pus, clumpy pus, fever etc.) so that we can get her in right away to have the back expander removed. But for now, we pray that the antibiotics will do its job, and we were instructed to continue to keep the incision scab-free, cleaning it and applying ointment.

Praising God for so many things, some of which are the following:

• that we live near our hospital, a fantastic one at that
• for my mom who was able to come at a moment's notice to look after Lincoln (as well as for my sister who was very willing to take him should we have needed to stay at the hospital)
• that it appears that most of the pus has leaked out and the expander may not be affected
• for our support network
• for antibiotics
• for the means to pay for these antibiotics
• for Dr. Zuker and Dr. Bains and their great care over our daughter
• for the wisdom in keeping a very detailed medical journal, which came in very handy for Dr. Bains, who is not her surgeon
• for traveling mercies, that the freezing rain held off

We pray that these antibiotics will kick in, and that the expander does not get infected. Although we love our hospital so much, and Dr. Zuker and his team, we pray that we don't have to see them again until next year :o), on January 9th for her next fill.

Thanks once again for reading! I will update in a week or so, to let you know how things are going. Thanks so much for all your prayers.

Still some complications....

*Again, a warning as there are a few 'gross' pictures dealing with pus. This is all part of the journey, which is why I must do these types of posts as well, not just positive ones. 

So yesterday was supposed to be Fill #3, but due to the top incision splitting open a wee bit, we postponed it a week. I had a good chat with Dr. Zuker on the phone on Wednesday and then again today. After Wednesday's chat, we were going to come in on Boxing Day to have her expanders filled. However, after having talked with him this afternoon, he really felt we should stop filling for awhile, and give time for her incisions to heal up. We were very much relieved.

And this decision to wait another 2 more weeks seemed so much wiser again after tonight. Tonight we noticed her bottom incision was pretty crusted over with yellow pus, more so than the last few nights. It was so crusted that the only way to get it off was to allow warm water to shower on it, which is what we did. And this helped a lot, getting rid of most of it.

Before the shower: The incision starts at the blue threaded knot and goes to the left. The very dark thick line going horizontally is all hair that is matted with the crust of pus. You can also see bits of dried yellow pus.

And with the warm water, the hair is no longer matted and the scabs of pus are pretty much gone.

About 2 minutes after pat-drying it, the incision started to leak pus. And fast. It leaked for well over half an hour, constantly dripping with no stopping.

Half an hour later, and some saturated gauze, the leak slowed down to dripping a little bit every 30 seconds or so.

You see, it is so hard to tell if there is an infection around the incision, due to the fact that the incision is in her birthmark. The skin is black/brown. So pink doesn't show through. Well, we know now for sure there is an infection. I also noticed that after most of the pus had leaked out, a bubble that I thought was a corner of the expander, is now pretty much gone.

I did email him again tonight to give an update. I do question what to do with the incision: do I just leave it or continue to clean it with warm water and a Q-tip, and then apply Polysporin after? I would think to keep cleaning it, but I worry about aggravating it too much.

So yeah, not a pretty sight, that's for sure. But there is reason for thanks:

• We thank the Lord that He has placed Dr. Zuker on our path and that despite him being so busy in such a fantastic hospital, he makes the time to call me at home
• We thank the Lord for healing the top incision after it opening up 
• We thank Him also for the support we receive from all those near and far

We ask for your continued prayers, that this may be solved and that her bottom incision also begins to heal up. We pray that the worst of the infection is behind us. 

As for Keziah? Well, despite the infection, she is enjoying her days frolicking in the snow we've received. Another reason for thanks - that this has not affected her much at all. Praising God for His goodness!!

*edited later Friday evening: I just got off the phone with the resident surgeon at the hospital. They want to see her tomorrow morning. There is concern that the infection may be in the back expander. We pray this isn't so because if it is, the expander will need to come out right away. Please pray with us that the infection is only in the incision and that antibiotics will clear it up. So off we go tomorrow. I will update the results when I can.

A Complication

*if you get queasy over wounds, this is not the post for you. Just sayin' :o)

Well, we knew that just because last removal went so well, that most likely will not be the case this time. And sure enough, we've hit our first bump in the road, which we hope is a little one.

Last evening, Keziah came crying into the kitchen, stating that her and Lincoln bonked heads and now the side of her head hurts. I took a peek and found that her incision was bleeding. It was split open a wee bit.

I cleaned it up, put Vaseline on it and emailed Dr. Zuker. We are supposed to go for a fill on Thursday. But with that split, doing a fill would be not a good idea. It would put stress on the open incision, causing it to split further. Worst case scenario - the expander will then fall out.

Tonight, I cleaned it up some more and it is looking better:

While cleaning up her one incision last night, I noticed her other incision had some crusty pus on it.

 I cleaned that up as well, but tonight, there is now not only pus, but also a teensy bit of blood at the end of the incision.

So we are definitely going to skip filling both expanders this Thursday. The problem though with skipping a week, is that next week Thursday (the fill up days for Dr. Zuker) is Boxing Day. We are running into the holidays. He has emailed back saying we should probably skip a week, but has not gotten back to us about when to come in next. We shall see.

In the meantime, we ask for your prayers that her incisions heal again and that it does not split open further. We also ask for your prayers for us as it can be so hard to not worry about what could happen. We pray that we may focus on today, and leave the healing with our Great Physician.

And just because we can't only have "icky" pictures on this post, I figured I better add this picture which was taken today. Yesterday another sister in the Lord dropped off a hat she had made for Keziah - one that is very soft and has a bell in the end of it. She wore that hat on and off all day today. At this rate, this girl is coming close to competing with that book "500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins" by Dr. Seuss :o)

Fill #2

That's it? Only 2 fills so far?! After her reaction today during the fill-up procedures, it is going to be a loooooong next couple of months. :o(

This time daddy was able to come with us. She was quite disappointed when she found out Aunt Jenn wasn't coming this time. But despite the disappointment, she was still happy as a lark to go back to the hospital.

(ha! See the date on the picture? I was fiddling with the camera while trying to wait patiently. 03/11/2008. Keziah wasn't even born yet! Actually, at that date we didn't even have a clue that we were going to be adopting. My. It is so amazing to see God's plans fold out in our lives, plans that we didn't even know existed. Such comfort to rest in His providential care, knowing that He has it all figured out.) 

Daddy held her during the fill-ups. She cried. And screamed. Loud. My heart broke. It is soooo hard to be a tough mama!! It's difficult to hold back the tears and be strong for her. I think that's why I find these days so exhausting - just always trying to keep my emotions in check for her sake.

The fill ups were exactly what I was dreading about this whole process. During the screaming and crying, February 19th looks so far away. But I do need to remind myself that while she kicks and screams during the fill ups, by the time we get Timbits, she is back to herself again. And never a problem again until the next fill up. So I just have to be strong during those 10 minutes for her and remember how quick she is to smile not even 10 minutes after.

So here are the results of today's fills:

There is now 125 cc's in the top one. Can you believe that is just 10 cc's shy of what her cheek expander was filled up to?! Hair is a wonderful thing, people! :o)

Here are the side views. The first picture you can't really see the back expander, but you can see the skin that is stretched a bit through her hair.

It just looks like I poofed up her hair at the front. I know some people who actually style their hair this way.....so really, she's just keeping up with the times. :o)

While it may only be 2 fills done, we are thankful to put those 2 behind us. We again thank you for your prayers.

Speaking of being thankful, I know I've mentioned our appreciation for the great support group that we belong to (you know who you are!), there is another group that also has given us so much support, and that is our church family. This support has been seen in many ways, some of them being the following:

So many have offered to take this guy while we go every week. (how could you not?! Look at that cheeky monkey!! Just make sure you hide your food, your dishwasher soap, your computer, anything with buttons, your, well, you get the idea. Still want him?! :o)

Today we were spoiled with a delicious meal made by friends, which was enjoyed by all (especially by me, as I didn't have to worry about what to make for supper after a stressful morning):

Another way we've been encouraged is by witnessing how many people from our church care about our daughter. They care so much that they even want to crochet Keziah some beautiful hats!! And so, here she is, modelling two hats that were made specially for her by another friend in the church. (yes, that is 4 pictures of the same hat. I couldn't pick just one with that smile of hers!)

And her favourite one....the one with a "big sparkle!!"

Don't these hats just suit her so well?! My little fashion diva :o) And what's so nice about the hats is that they are stretchy, which is a good thing because we still have 555 cc's more to go in the top and 455 cc's in the back!

But let's just take one day at a time, one fill up at a time, or else my stomach starts knotting too soon, and this is not good, because then I am too busy looking horizontally instead of vertically.