Just as we are getting used to her face the way it is, it is about to change again. On Wednesday, April 25th, we will be heading back to Toronto to have both expanders filled. We have to be there by 9, which means leaving bright and early as we join the hordes of people that are heading the same way. An hour before her appointment, I will be putting on Elma cream onto her ports, and then cover them up with a special band aid/tape. This will have the skin numbed for the needles that will be inserted into the port. We do not look forward to this appointment. Since her surgery, she has not let anyone come near her face. Even we aren't allowed to kiss her "owie" cheek or forehead. Keziah is very protective of her face now. We shall see how Wednesday goes.

The last week or so, we've continued on with normal life. We became used to her chipmunk cheek very quickly, as well as the goose egg on her head. We took her out for groceries, went to a birthday party and even went up to Owen Sound for the weekend to see some good friends. She is becoming very aware of us talking about her face and we've noticed she will stop what she is doing, move to the other side of the room and just stand there, looking unsure. We are doing our best to not talk about it with her around, so if you ask a question and she's nearby, we may very well ask you to read the blog or we'll talk later. We'll see how long it takes her before she realizes that people stare at her. I know that as the expanders expand, it will really attract attention. Part of me wants to protect her from all this, yet the other part of me wants to be factual, with a "no big deal" attitude, helping her to see that outward appearances don't count (I know, she's young to understand this...). But we'll take it week by week to see how things go over for her.

Like I said earlier, for us we have become used to her face, before the expanders and now. What is hard is the fact that her face will change again on Wednesday, and will be constantly changing. Everytime I go onto the blog and see that big picture of her at the top, my stomach drops and it hits me again and again that she will never look like that. That makes me sad. That's the face we know and love!! And just when we are used to it, it'll change again! So it's a process for us to deal with. Walking into the recovery room the other week to see her, we both were stunned at how she looked, not prepared at all for the amount of swelling etc. We looked at each other with tears in our eyes and instantly questioned what we were doing and if it'll be worth it. I am sure as the expanders get bigger these questions of "what are we doing" and "is it really worth it" will come up again in our minds.

Onto pictures of the last few days:

This is becoming a favourite pastime of hers:

Up visiting friends in Owen Sound. Anya and Keziah are 3 months apart and got along fabulously!!

Cheeky grin!

The LARGE forehead expander:

Her goose egg:

My heart is FULL! (and I just noticed...so is my family room of baby stuff!)

Aw, his smile can't help but make me smile!! Mr. Lincoln will be going to be with his friend, Jasper, while we head to Toronto. Those two don't know it yet, but they are going to be best buds!!